wAkE bEe Up InSiDe
by ZeroFoxGiven
Summary: diz iz the story of goffick bee barri sue n her luvr barry an secret beeoyfriend adam teh beemo rockr. watch az they go on goffick adventurz al over da hive n see a my pesticide romance concert. wil barri sue bee able 2 defeet vanessa the dork lord n win barrys heart 4ever? I SUCK AT SUMMARIEZ XD (I'm so, so sorry about this...)
1. bRiNg BeE tO lIfE

**WAKE BEE UP INSIDE CHAPTER 1**

 **BRING BEE TO LIFE**

 **So yeh, diz iz meh new ficc n i hope u likez it n stuff, itz all abut meh oc barri sue n her luvr barry (hez so hot omBEE!1!) itz rely goffick to so if u hate goffz then dont even red this u worthlezz wannaBEE!1! thankz 2 my bezti steff fur editin this!1!**

My namez barri sue, and Im a hunnybee, duh. im NOT like those other stoopid hunnybeez tho, with their yellow n black nonsense, beecuz Im totally black n yellow unlike those preps. today im wearing a black n yellow corset, black n yellow combat boots n a black n yellow skirt. my hair iz black wit yellow streakz n realy long, like a goffick rapunzel or sumthin.

I star myself in the mirror, applying beelack makeup wit a lil bit of yellow. my eyes were blood red and glistened like ruby orbs. barry said I look like Amy Bee, and i totally agree. If u dont know who she iz, then go feed urself to a bear you stoopid wannabee. i hear sumthin outside and go look, my gossmer wings glitterin with pure swag. barry is outside along with adam, who is now a super hot beemo rocker.

"hey guyz, wait!" i yell goffickally, brushin my silken bee hair out of my fursaken blud eyes.

"whatz up barri sue, u look so beeuatiful n edgy tonite!" barry says sexily, his sapphire orbz meetin mine.

"omBEE rlly?" i ask cutly, alredy knowing it waz beeond tru.

"yes rlly, u ar so hot n stuff," adam said, glaring beemoly at barry. theyr beeoth in luv with me, but im a gud girl and date beeoth so they dunt get to jelouz.

"thnx guyz," i say.

barry helpz me into his new beecar, witch iz a real antiqk hearse from the funeral hive. its haunted by teh ghost of a smexy beepire namd edword and I make out wit him to cuz im nice.

"so wher r we goin?" i ask, staring at beeoth my beeoyfriendz with goffick lust n desire.

barry reachez into his edgy leather coat n grabz three ticketz, n sumthin lookz familiar abut them. he handz them too me n i gasp goffickally, beecuz i cant beelieve my blud culored eyez.

"how in da hive did you even get theze?!" I screeched edgily. "the My Pesticide Romance ticketz sold out dayz ago! omBEE!" i pulled the ticketz out of barry'z lil bee hand n kissd em dramaticly, leving a big beelack lipstick stain.

adam nodded beemoly, staring at teh ticketz.

barry smirked wit so much edge it waz ow. "i killd a guy n stole em."

i swooned, overcom with passiun at teh thoght of barry killin sumone just for me. if only that stoopid beeitch vanessa wud die so i cud marry da barry.

"wut r we watin for, letz go see the concert alreedy!" adam moaned, and we gut in the car n started too drive away, unware of the dramaz stil two com...

 **END OF CHAPTER 1!**

 **like omBEE, u luved it, rite? review now or i won't update!1! u wanna kno wut happenz next, rite?! if u dont, then ur a stoopid wannabee!1! don't flame u stoopid prepz!2!**

 _( Nyxy: I am SO freaking sorry for this. It was written at three AM on a dare, but that's no excuse. While this is a joint account between me and Steffi, this lovely creation is all mine aside from a bit of inspiration and encouragement, so don't blame her if your brain cells died, and again, I'm so very sorry. This is why I'd given up writing fanfic until recently._

 _Steffi: Yep this is what the Nyx like to write alright XD it's a parody tho, duh! Don't ever feed Nyxys sugar after midnight you guys, it just will never end well! :3 )_


	2. hOw CaN u BeE iNtO mY eYeS

**WAKE BEE UP INSIDE CHAPTER 2**

 **HOW CAN U BEE INTO MY EYES**

 **heey u beeutiful goff readerz, diz updat iz fo u, so screw da prepz n wannabeez! tank u fo da amazz reviewz n no flamz, dat is so goffick n gud! so red dis den gimme MOAR! hav fun wit diz, n barry iz da bae XD thank u 2 steff 4 editin diz n makin it goffick n perty.**

we gut to da concert in like ten minutz, and evn managed to giv sum prepz da middle finger when dey cut us off at a red light. after we parked barrys bee hearse n payd the kid wit fake mony, we went intoo da buildin. it waz packd wit other goffs an a few beemos to, but non were as hot az mee.

barry had gut us da vib tickets, su we pushed thru all da beez until we reachd teh frunt row.

"izn't diz amazzing, barri sue?" barry askd me, his beeautiful sapphire orbs glimmerin in da dim lights of teh auditorum.

"yass!" i said goffickly, beeatting my eyelashes sexily n posing like a goff image frum beeviantart.

"we r here early, but da band shud be on stage in lik a feew minuts or sumthin." adam sighed huskyly, his new beemo hair framin da look of furlorn pain n inner angst he wore constantly lyke a bad hawaiian shirt frum bee walmart.

"ok cool."

it felt lik furever, but adam waz probly right bout the time. when My Pesticide Romance finly shows up, my ruined beelack goffick heart stopped. luckly da lead singer Berard waz there wit a defibrillator n savd me beefor I dieded.

"stand back everybeeody!" he yelled in a smexy rock song voice. even tho I was stil technically ded, i swooned n hopd my lifeless face waz tragik n elegant lik in da goff vidz i luved too watch.

he slammd da defibrillator on my lil bee chest swaggerly n screamed "clear!1" befor settin it off n savin me. once i had a pulse agn, i waz totly fine cuz screw logik!

"tank u soo much for savin my lyfe Berard! u da best bee evah!" i purred, n adam glard dorkly at him.

"ur welcome. i hav too go onstage now, but ill see u after da show barri sue."

i said ok n then lookd around at everybeeody. a lot of dem were starin at me, butt I didn't care cuz i waz perrtyer den those wannabeez.

"ombee r u ok barri sue?" cried barry, kissn my fragile cold lil bee hand tragikly.

"yeh duh my heart only stopd, not lik it waz sumthin serioz. now bee my bad boi n kiss me real gud." i whispered seductivly.

barry hesitated. "um ok i will, but u cant tell vanessa..." he kissed me passionatly, n adam groaned in frustration.

"are you frikkn kiddin bee?" i ask angry. "u said there waz nuthin beetween u n her! how cud u beetray me!?"

barry stopped kissn me n stepd beeack a bit.

"well technicly ther izn't, but things have beecome complicated n stuffz u kno. ur still da most beeautiful gurl i kno tho, barri sue!"

i sighed dramatically. "ok but u need too dump dat beeitch alreddy ombee!"

"guyz u got to stop fightin the musics gunna start." adam said, lookin at da stage.

"oh ok." i say, and the band starts two play my fav song, Crawling In My Stripes. i am overcom by luv n passiun fur my fav band n Berards sexily voice so i momentarily forgot vanessa da beeoyfriend stealin beeitch.

i sing along, n everyone tinks im rely gud. so gud in fact, dat when the song ends, Berard callz me up onto da stage too sing wit him.

"ombee do u relly want me two sing wit u?!" i ask in disbeelief.

"yes barri sue u r the most talnted bee ive evr herd!" he yellz, n a bunch of goffz n beemos clap for me.

"diz iz awesum!" i yell, n adam gives me a edgy high five.

"barry, did u hear?" i asked him, but he was on his bee iphone lookin relly wurried or sumthin.

he ignord me n kept talkin. after he gut off his phone, he lookd me rite in da eyes.

"barri sue, adam, that was vanessa. sumthin happnd n she needz me too bee there. i gotta fly, im su surry. have fun at da concert guyz." he said apologetically, beefor turnin two tak off.

"nooooooo wait!1! whoz gonna recurd me when i sing wit Berard? dat stoopid prep wannabee beeitch! im gunna teach her a real painful lessun!" i cry, whil adam n berard comfurt meh.

"i know sumone who cud help u, barri sue..." berard said quietly, lookin arund too make shure no one waz listenin.

"lyke who?" i asked, still beeyond heartbrokn bout barry leavin me for dat vanessa beeitch.

Berard pauzd, hiz goffick face displayin a lil bit of hesitation. "well u cant telly anyone, ok?"

"yep i promise, now tel me alreddy!"

adam luked as curious as i felt, n berard finlly spoke up.

"his name iz Edgelord McSwaggerstinger da Hornet n he livs in Edgewurld. i gotta warn u tho, hez dangerous n stuff."

i nodded. "i dunt car if hez dangerous as long az he can help me."

"ok den too find him u gotta do an illegal u turn on da boulevard of beerokn dreamz. u will se a giant evil lookin castle, so u gotta go beehind da castle."

"so he livz in the castle?" adam asked logically.

berard shook his head definitely. "no not in da castle. theres a cemetery beehind the castle u gotta find."

"ok so he livz in the cemetery." adam said.

"no! beehind the cemetery is a low budget oldfolks home calld Meadowrest. Dats where u wil find Edgelord."

"what the hive." adam said in confusion, lookin at me fo advice.

i locked eyez with berard. "thats weird n kinda stoopid but if he cn help i dunt car so ill go after da concert."

"ok good, now com up on the stage wit me n sing goffickally." he said.

"yes, i cant wait for sweet revenge huehuehue!" i laffed sinsterly.

 **END OF CHAPTER 2!**

 **did u lik it? now go gimme a loan of a billiun reviewz or i wunt updat!1! no flamz, u stoopid prepz!**

 _(Nyxy: So yeah, here you go. Why anyone reads this is beyond me, but I update whatever gets reviewed, so enjoy, I guess? Now I never intended to continue this, but it's actually getting a ton of hits and attention, so I guess I'll keep going. Here's an extra long chapter to make up for the wait. I wrote the whole thing in half an hour and couldn't be bothered to proofread it, not that there'd be any point considering it's supposed to suck horribly. Thanks for all the reviews, and have fun, you crazy weirdos!_

 _Steffi: Why must you bee so weird these days, Nyx? Oh no... It's beegun. SAVE MEEEE XD lol kidding. There you go, I guess? Another lovely bit of 3am Nyxy rambling that I didn't actually edit :3)_


	3. wHeRe IvE bEeCoMe So NuMb

**WAKE BEE UP INSIDE CHAPTER 3**

 **WHERE IV'E BEECOME SO NUMB**

 **OMBEE lyke u guys ar su goffick fur reviwn dis! tank u n fook uff 2 all da haterz! da reezon i havnt updatd iz coz my stoopid beeitchy ex bee-ff steffi stole ma giant barry idol statu dat i sakrifice lil kidz too in da name of teh dank memez n wont giv it bak uggggh. su obv she aint edit diz tho meh grammerz is gudder so who cars rite? barry is sooo buzzn hut OMBEE hez lyke amaz! now read mah sturry n dont flam it!**

As sun az da concert ended, adam n meh hutwired barryz bee hearse n druv too da bulivard uf beerokn dreemz. edword teh beepire gost wuz there to an we maked out whil adam hit all da potholez n stuff.

"wud u guyz stahp doin that n help meh find where i shuld do teh illegal u turn. berard didnt say butt i dunt see a castle."

edword dispeerd back too the underwurld so he cud sulk in his beemo corner.

"dammit. ok well u can do one wharever. i tink itz magik or sumthin."

adam lookd confuse but nodded. "ok if u say so."

he did the u turn n i throwd my lil bee hands in da air n screamed lik we were on a rollacoster or sumthin. it waz fun, tho i didn't show it to much coz that's nut veery goffick.

"hey i tink that iz the castle in frunt of us, barri sue."

a few yardz ahead ov us waz a huge abandund n creepy lookin castle. all da bricks n wallz were beelack n cuvered in dead vines. it was really creepy n spooky scurry skeletunz were al over teh ground. dat made no senz coz beez dunt have skaletonz but whatevz, it makez it spoopyier.

"wow it iz so goffick. pull over, i need too take a selfbee shot wit dat in the background. i will get beeillion likez on HiveMind!"

"fine but den we need too find Edgelord. that is why we cam here, barri sue. not for ur selfbee addiction." adam said, hiz secksy beemo voice goin dork.

i take a gud selfbee despit all teh demonz n zombis in da stoopid castle n get bak in wit adam who iz glarin at me frum beehind his beemo hair.

"dere i done now. surry."

"well i think wat u did was stuped n rackless barri sue. u almoost gut killd by teh munsterz. " he waz reel angree at meh n almost drove off da road.

"wow dat hurtz."

i giv him da sad eyez n he stupz beeing angry at meh.

"im surry barri sue, itz beecuz i lurve u n can't liv without u. pleez furgive me."

i sigh goffickly. "ok."

we continu on ar way wurdleesly n somber until we see teh cemetery. it is vast, foggy n furlorn lookin. tragic n goffick to. i lik it alreddy.

"ok that must bee da cemetery. we shuld got too Meadowrest soon." i say, tinking of how mooch fun im gunna hav when i finely get mah revenge on da beeoyfriend-steelin beeitch vanessa.

"yes your rite. no selfbeez tho."

i frown goffickly.

"aww man, dat totlly suckz."

i putted away meh bee iPhone n starred out da window. Dere were generic lookin gosts n a feew beepires butt non were as smexy az edword su i didn't take picturz of tem.

sun we retced Meadowrest. adam parkd teh hearse in da funeral parkin spot, witch waz convinently loocated by a big entrance.

"ew this is lame. who frikkn carez abot da elderbee anyway. they r nut goffick OMBEE!" i say sassly.

"yeah they suk n aren't beemo eithr." adam agreed.

we fly up too da big industrial lookn door n pussh it opn. it make creepy creaking sound, but we got inside an reched teh frunt desk. dere was a bee in da service chair, butt it lukked like she'd beeen dieded for years.

"hello i am barri sue and im here too see Edgelord McSwaggerstinger. i deemand survice now u stoopid corpse!" i yell, my blud colord eyez darknin with pure rage.

the dead bee with teh pearl neklace n fancy updo did nut reespond, but her jaw fell off n land un teh desk wit a sik plopp.

"ew that is so unsanitary." adam say, wiping hiz bee hands on his big stripy butt.

"well skrew u, stoopid ded beeitch, we wil find Edgelord alone!"

adam nods in agrement n i pulled him toowards da old folks roomz. many doors ar loked but we find on taht iz painted beelack n luks edgy.

adam reeds a nut on teh door. "this is Edgelord's room keep out unles u are nurse or hardcore criminal." he sigh. "maybee we cant go in."

"we came all this way and i don't frikkn car. u can bee a nurse and ill bee teh criminal."

"why do i hav to bee teh nurse again!" adam complained adamantly.

i frown goffickly. "beecuz u look like a girl now shut up n help meh opn dis." i say, tuggin on da door.

"whatever." adam mutters, pulling hard until it fallz off n lands on teh dirty prune stained carpet.

"oh great." he says, hiding beehind me.

"who's there, dearies?" a frail voice asks.

"i am!" i yell rebeelliously.

"your not a vacuum salesbee are u?" he asks.

"no."

da sound off footsteps breeks our momnt off silence.

"good beecuz then i would hav too SHOW YOU A NEW WORLD OF PAIN! i meen, tel yo too put me on teh no soliciters list.

i waz confuzed.

"what the hive." adam mumbled, lokin dumstrukk.

 **END OF CHAPTER 3!**

 **u luved it rite? OMBEE! now gimme 500 trillun gud reviewz er i wunt updat! NO FLAMZ U STOOPID PREPZ!1!**

 _(Nyxy: I really had no desire to keep writing this hideous monstrosity, but after receiving reviews begging for me to continue, I finally did. Why does anyone read this? I may never know. Then again, I've never had anyone beg me to keep updating before. On one hand, that's pretty cool. Still, the fact that a shitty trollfic is more popular than fanfictions I've poured my heart and soul into is a curious feeling... I wouldn't reccomend it. Anyway, enjoy (I guess?) and no, me and Steffi aren't actually fighting. That's a reference to the Holy Grail of all trollfics, My Immortal. May Enoby rest in pieces. There you have it, kids.)_


	4. uNtIl U fInD iT tHeRe N lEaD iT bEeAcK

**WAKE BEE UP INSIDE CHAPTER 4**

 **UNTIL YOU FIND IT THERE AND LEAD IT BEEACK HOME**

 **Surry fur not updatin i waz buzy (lik a bee! geddit?) tanks 2 my loyl n goffick fanz for teh gluriuz reviewz n not flamin! U ROKK GUYZ! Barry iz stil teh beest n huttest anime boi!**

 **Meenwhile...**

"moozblud, get ovr here!" vanessa yelld.

she waz now wearin a HOT PINK nockoff vlodemort costum frum a dollar store. it was a siz too big n made her look even stoopider, but she didn't care. it waz edgy to her n she likd beeing a horribad preppy reaper ripoff.

"what do u want, suepreem master of dorkness?" he asked, turning of da fiv secunds of sommer video he was droolin over.

vanessa laffed a cliche bad guy laff n fixed her prepp hair.

"we are going two beenap barry! then we can catpure barri sue n adam and deestroy all goffick n beemo things!1!2! huehuehuehue!2!" she skreeched prepply.

"barry is my frend tho" moozblud said sadly, knowin he waz stuk dooing vanessa's bidding beecause he waz a coward.

"I DUNT CAR! we must take over teh wurld n make it sooper preppy n stuffz."

"ok" sed moozblud, no longer caring bout hiz frienddz.

vanessa grinnded beecuz she wuz evil butt also cuz she steel had a nose.

"i called barry n told him sumthin terribl happened, so he wil bee here soon. den we can grab him n stik him in a jar! hieuehuehue1!1"

moozblud lukd a lil wurried.

"you putted airholes in da jar rite?" he askeded cunfuzed.

"yes we don't want him dieded yet. we need to get teh otherz first, den we wil kill em real ded."

moozblud fly over too hiz master.

"vanessa u are de most brillient dork lord evah!"

she struck a preppy poze in her oversizd pink villan robe.

"yaaasssss i know!"

dey talked aboot preppy shizz™ fur a while until dey herd buzzin and da door openin.

Barry waz finally thar, lookin soo edgy n goffick it mad teh to prepz cringe harder than you at az u reed this.

"oh good your finly here. i have somethin impotent two sho u." vanessa said, openin the smelly pickle jarjar she had hiden under her cloak.

"ok," sed barry, unaware dat he was about to be catpured!1!3!

 **END OF CHAPTER 4!**

 **OOOH NUUU! wat gunna happn too barry? if u wanna find out u guyz give me a trillun gud reviews ok? NO FLAMMING STOOPID PREPZ N VANESA FANS! U SUCK! BEEZ 5EVAH!**

 _(Nyxy: I'm not really writing fanfic anymore, but I'll make an exception for this. Expect more horrible goffick and emo memes, as well as some really stupid crossover characters in the future for the sake of (you guessed it) memes. By the way, go check out the reading of this on YouTube! It's hilarious. As I've said before, anyone is welcome (and encouraged to) record, draw, animate, write a spinoff or make fun of this horrific thing. Enjoy, weirdos!)_


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